Snow Days with Wyclef

Well, it finally happened. I got a snow day. We won’t talk about how I was already at work when they called the snow day, literally turned around in the parking lot, and went into full mental breakdown mode, and then went to the gym. That’s the boring part.

We’ll start when I got home from the gym and poured myself a glass of Chardonnay at 8:13 am. Suddenly, a February Thursday turned into a football-season Saturday, and I ain’t complainin’. After a few sips of Jesus’ nectar, I hopped into the shower for the second time in three hours, but neglected to wash face or hair, because there is no way I was redoing that shit.

After the shower, I picked up right where I left off with my Chardonnay, and followed up with 2 Tecate Lights (also Jesus’ nectar: (HEY-zoos’ NECK-ter). Sadly, I found myself with a pretty healthy buzz after these three cocktails. So embarrassing, but I blame it on the combo of not eating since dinner the night before + mental breakdown in work parking lot + workout. So, I had a quick snack of crackers and goat cheese to keep myself from vomiting in the cab on the way to brunch.

Brunch was fairly uneventful, other than the obvious bottomless mimosas that really get my day kickstarted. *Shoutout to the waitress, who literally kept my bottomless mimosas bottomless. Secret way to gain extra tip from Bev. Brunch was followed by a trip to my Fawn’s and my favorite dive bar. I’m both happy and sad to report to you that they weren’t even open yet when we arrived, but the bartender/manager recognized us and let us in early. (In case you were wondering how ‘favorite’ this favorite dive bar really is) Following a really deep conversation about radio stations in the bathroom and asking the manager about our favorite bartender (where ARE you, MattPhil?), a few other friends joined us for some shuffleboard and continued shitshow. It would appear that at one point, I tried to convince Fawn’s fiance to come into the dive bar, and possibly called him DRose? I’m not sure, but there’s certainly a text to him that just says…. DRose. Who knows.

As many of you know, I black out as often as I leave my house, so the end of the night is a little shady, but I think it ended on a nice little trio of whiskey on ice, an Uber ride home at 6:19 pm, and passing out without eating dinner. Par for the course.

Probably my favorite part of the snow day was waking up the next day to this awesome Google search that Fawn and I performed at the height of dive bar drinking:

Something about Wyclef. Obviously.

-Bev