Well, guys, I feel like I need to introduce you to some more Mayberry characters, because that little place really is a reality show waiting to happen (though absolutely none of them would ever agree to be on TV)… I’m starting with some non-family members who are almost like family members because I’ve known them my whole life (literally, in some cases).
You may remember my girl Agatha’s recent reader review, so I’m starting out with her mom and dad. They are one of three sets of “second parents” I had growing up. You see, Bev, Ardith, Agatha, and Henrietta were basically inseparable from third grade until high school graduation, so if you couldn’t find us at one of our own houses, you just checked the other three. Adding to this is the fact that all of our parents know each other, so there were never any issues of not being able to go to each other’s houses. This is a problem I assume cityfolk had growing up. Yes? No?
Now, when I say “our parents knew each other,” I don’t mean, like, they met at our third grade bake sale and decided the others weren’t serial killers, and were therefore fit to watch over each others’ daughters. I mean, like, my friends’ parents are my parents’ friends. And my parents’ friends are my friends’ parents. I’ll explain.
Agatha’s dad, Andy, graduated with Smoke and MamaG. Andy and Smoke were best friends.
Andy was Smoke’s best man. Smoke was Andy’s best man. Bev was Agatha’s maid of honor. Agatha is… still wondering if Bev will ever get married (but that’s another post).
Yeah. I have literally known Agatha (and Ardith- coming soon) and their parents since I was born. And so have our parents, so they’re all pretty important characters in Bev’s Mayberry world.
Anyway, back to Andy (I affectionately call him AF; Smoke calls him Ang). Andy and Smoke have been a bit of an inseparable duo since the late 60s, and they are probably best known for their foosball and card-playing abilities. Smoke will deny it, but I’m pretty sure they used to skip study hall and head “uptown” to drink Schlitz and play foos or cards during actual school hours (the legal drinking age was 18- can you imagine?). Anyway, for foosball, I don’t have a ton of stories or facts, because it’s not often that they play anymore. They’ll blame it on the fact that there aren’t many tables around these days, I’ll chalk it up to the fact that they’re 60, and would prefer to be seated as much as possible… but I can attest to Smokey G’s abilities, as he’s recently played a few games at a dive bar here and there in MyCity. MamaG ain’t no foosball punk, either, actually. I’m going to go ahead and assume AF is an absolutely foosball boss.
And, obviously, if you’ve been playing cards with somebody for 50+ years, you get to be a pretty good team. Their game of choice is called ‘Smear’ (don’t ask me a thing about how to play because I don’t know) and I can remember them playing it weekly for years and years during the winters (farming offseason, ya dig?) when I was growing up. The Henning House was/is obviously the best place to play Smear. Rumors have it that some people actually refuse to play if Smoke an Ang are on a team and make them split up. In any case, they’re legendary smear players.
*Some info has been blocked out to protect the innocent, but basically, this is a text from Alfred, who is 26, and would watch Smoke and Ang play cards on TV if he could.
Anyway, like many Midwestern farmers, AF is softspoken but smart, quick with a one-liner, and missing a small part of a finger due to some type of farm accident. Like… no one else in the world… he is also a Cincinnati Bengals fan.
Now, we can’t get through a post about Agatha’s family without mention of the good ol’ Connie. I call her Con, and she’s one of those people who just makes ya feel like you should be a stand-up comedian, because she laughs at pretty much everything you say. Con comes from a big family of funny ladies, and while she didn’t graduate with my parents, I have known her my whole life, as she and Ang were married before I was born. I recently saw Con at a wedding at home in Mayberry, where she was “pretty smashed” after two glasses of wine, and was getting worried about what people might think of her at the high school basketball game she was headed to watch after the wedding meal was served. I just chuckle picturing Con breezing into a Midwestern high school gym, rosy cheeks, hanging on to AF for dear life. I also chuckle at the fact that she told me she sometimes reads Bev on her break from work as a para at an elementary school, but that she had to stop because she was scared she was going to pee her pants at work. Con, if that ever does happen, you have to do a guest blog post. Deal?
I also can’t even mention Con without mentioning her cooking. Her kitchen was not only a steady hangout for Bev growing up, but is always filled with delicious goodies. Her specialty? Cherry bars. You haven’t lived until you’ve had Con’s cherry bars.
OK, this post has turned out to be much longer than originally anticipated, so I better sign off (or, go write the upcoming Mouse post…). Happy Sunday y’all, and I hope you enjoy the more detailed glimpse into Mayberry Moments!
AF and Con- I love you guys, and thanks for following along (even if Agatha put you up to it)! See ya this summer sometime!
-Bev
P.S.- if you can’t get enough of Mayberry and its residents, there are several places where you can access previous posts… Click the Mayberry Moments tab at the top of your page, or simply search “Mayberry” or “Henning House” in the search bar on your top right. It won’t disappoint. (at least I hope)
