I Couldn’t Be Any MORE Bev Today

I’m pretty sure I have a sinus infection and I’m very sure that I’m hungover, and just listen to my day.

Guys, I got locked in my own backyard today. Then I texted my eyebrow lady that I was going to be late for my appointment (because I was locked in my own backyard) and she called me informing me that I actually didn’t have an appointment today, because of course I effed that up. Fawn came and rescued me (by opening the gate to my yard and releasing me) and then we went to lunch because I didn’t have an eyebrow appointment, and I went to the restroom. The bathroom had a motion light, and I was taking a little longer than normal, and the lights went out. The lights. Went out. Then I went to pick up some contacts because my eye doctor messed up the shipping of my new ones and Drunk Bev lost ol’ leftie last night. Now I’m working at my second job, plotting my next meal, and dying to go home and start packing for a vacation that starts tomorrow. Normal Bev would’ve had her suitcase out for a week and be nearly finished packing, and have a spotless house to leave behind for post-vacation Bev, but sinus infection Bev hasn’t done jack shit this week. At this point, I’m just going to consider it a success if I can leave my yard to get in my car for the road trip tomorrow.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go pick up my credit card from the bar.

-Bev

P.S.- My eyebrow lady (also a friend) was able to squeeze me in, thank God, because Bev keeps these brows fresh, y’all. I wish I could tell you that the brow appointment was the only phantom appointment I made this week. But on Tuesday, I called to see if I could reschedule my appointment for a later time that day, only to find out I had never made that appointment either. They were also able to squeeze me in. The Big Man Upstairs looks out for me, I guess. Which, I think we can all agree, is a good thing. A very good thing.