Merry Kimsmas 12

OK, here it is, my pals. Day One.

Or Day Twelve. Whatever. The first installment of The Twelve Days of Kimsmas, and we throw it back to one of the biggest tragedies of my lifetime.

However, before you enjoy this post, I must give you The Twelve Days of Kimsmas rules:

1) I prefer you read all of the posts in this series with a cocktail in your hand. Please comment below with your Bev of choice (see what I did there?)

2) You must scroll to the bottom of each post and start the music before you read the words. You must.

3) If it makes you laugh, share it. Share it with your mom (she’ll love it!), share it on Facebook, share it with someone who works at Coors Light who would like to sponsor me, share it with a celebrity who will make me go viral and be able to quit my job (I can think of one celeb, in particular…)

4) Enjoy, man.

Humphries, we couldn’t stand you
With your tall and goofy ass,
There’s no way you bought that ring,
Score a point? You can’t even pass.

Huuuuuuumphries, you may be the worst.
Huuuuuuumphries, you may be the worst of all.

Humphries, why the lawsuit?
Without her, you’re nobody.
With that face and those ball skills,
You probably drive a Grand Prix.

Huuuuuuumphries, you may be the worst.
Huuuuuuumphries, you may be the worst of all.

-Beverly Goldenstein

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