I feel like when I was growing up, and even my first few years as an ‘adult’ (I use that term loosely), appointment reminders came in one of two forms: a friendly call or a card in the mail.
In recent months, I’ve had several orthodontist and ophthalmologist appointments, and boy, have times changed. Calls, texts, emails, phone calls, and cards in the mail reminding me of my appointment. Now, Bev has many shortcomings, but I’ll be damned if I’ve ever missed (or even been late for) an appointment. This flurry of communication is appallingly unnecessary.
First of all, I write things down. Thanks.
Second of all, every time I get a call or text from a random number, I think that maybe I met my dream man at the bar the weekend before (and don’t remember it), and he’s calling to sweep me off my feet. Or maybe, Ed McMahon is calling, and I won the sweepstakes! Nope… retainer checkup appointment for Beverly Goldenstein on Thursday at 4:301. Don’t worry, if you miss the call, we’ve got 3 texts and 2 emails ready to be sent in the next month, and a card on its way to your house. And if you forget, we’ll pull out all of your teeth next time you come in charge you $25.
Now, don’t get me wrong… it’s not like I ran out and bought 3 years’ worth of toilet paper during Y2K or anything, but I’m developing a real fear2 of what these medical offices will try to do for appointment reminders next. If one day you wake up with no memory of the previous 24 hours, and a shock collar on, you heard it here first.
-Bev
1What? You don’t wear a retainer at 32? I’ve inherited several of Smoke Goldenstein’s worst traits; bad teeth being one of them. I will NOT let these teeth slide back to 5th grade status. I will not.
2This is just one in a litany of Bev’s irrational fears. Like how my Achilles may be ripped out through the bottom of my foot when I walk over a door frame with screws in it. I know.
No Comments