The 12 Days of Kimsmas

I’ve got an early holiday present for you all. An all new series of posts that I may be more proud of than I am of F.A.F., and I freakin’ love F.A.F. I’ve only been working on this one for a few days now, but trust me, you don’t want to miss it. It’s The Twelve Days of Kimsmas. Yes, twelve days straight of Kim-related posts! Now, before you go writing me off, and unsubscribing, hear me out (please). I know Kim is polarizing. You love her or you hate her; there really is no in-between. And I know I’m no stranger to penning polarizing posts (like this one), but I think even you Kim-haters are going to like this new series. I promise it’s not all about Kim and how I love that she wanted to match her stroller to her baby’s skin tone and how she blow dries her jewelry before she puts it on so it isn’t too cold. It’s actually kind of the opposite. And love her or hate her, you’re gonna wanna stick around for the next twelve days of Kimsmas (which actually involves nearly all of the dysfunctional family, but you know I had to put my girl in the headline).

So, do yourself a favor, and get this YouTube video to the 3:55 mark before you start. Also, don’t watch the video, because there are some spelling errors and that makes me insane. Read below as the music plays instead. There are also probably spelling errors, because I am insane.

YouTube credit: Musical Drewby

On the twelfth day of Kimsmas
My true love gave to me
Humphries the loser,
Saint hooks Bev up,
North by North West,
Kourtney’s annoying,
Koko is loco,
Kim and Ray J’s sex tape,
Momager’s to blame,
Reggie!
Bruce Jenner update,
Rob’s fat ass,
Kanye’s the worst,
And a Parisian robbery!

I’ll see y’all tomorrow. Because I know you can’t wait.

-Beverly Kardashenstein