Bev’s Biography (Part Une)

Bev’s Biography

-Bev hoards Post-its.

-Bev has an unabashed, flagrant, outrageous, unfiltered, eternal love for Kim Kardashian. If you ask her why, she doesn’t know. And she doesn’t apologize.

-Bev likes to shoot things.

-Bev has a largely unjustified hatred of white sunglasses.

-Bev can drink more beer than you. She just can.

-Bev hates animals. Sometimes, she pretends she’s allergic to them, but then people tell her their dog is hypoallergenic, and Bev has no idea what that means, so she has to come clean and just tell people she hates their pet. There are two types of people in this world: those who can’t get you out of their house fast enough once they know you hate their pet. And those who hand you a fresh glass of Sauvignon Blanc, and fill a squirt bottle for you to use on their cat.

-Bev does love pictures of animals in costumes though. Or animal pics with funny sayings. These make her cry laughing. (Feel free to post funny animal pictures in comments)

-Bev likes to travel. Because getting drunk on her couch gets boring.

-Bev loves murder mystery shows. The real ones. None of this Law & Order crap. Forensic Files, all day.

-Bev loves brunch.

-Bev’s favorite movie is The Big Lebowski, and she will most likely reference it in at least 25% of posts. She’d like to think she’s very Dude, but she’s really very Walter. 

-Bev is scared of vegans.

-Bev has a gnarly habit of leaving earrings in her car cup holder, where they puncture the bottom of her coffee cups and flood the hell out of the cup holders. She’s done this three times. Three.