Things That Make You Go ‘Hmm…’ (alternatively titled: “Things Bev Overthinks… Part I of ∞”)

You know what the worst thing about the Patriots is?

Tom Brady’s smug ass? No.

Bill Belichick and his sweatshirt sleeves? No.

Pats. And the fact that people pronounce that in a way that rhymes with “hats” and not the way it should be said, which is to rhyme with “hates”, which is how we all feel about them, AmIWrong?

So there, Patriots fans. You might have a(nother) Super Bowl feather in your cap, but you don’t even know how to shorten your own nickname, OK?

*sticks tongue out at Patriots fans*

-Bev

P.S. I have a friend whose last name is “Schissel” and it is pronounced “chisel” and everyone has him in their phones as “Chizz” and I have him in mine as “Schis” and I wonder if it should be “Schiss” because this same rule would apply, but then I feel like my head is going to explode, and I’m going to pour myself a cocktail now. WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

P.P.S. Seriousy, think about this. Seahawks= Hawks. Vikings= Vikes. Buccaneers= Bucs. All. Pronounced. The. Same. As. In. The. Full. Name.

P.P.P.S. My Dolphin fan friends also call them the Fins. Down with the pronunciation, not down with the spelling. #Phins

P.T.S.D. You, after reading this post, and getting a real look into Bev’s mind.