#Blessed by Southwest, but Now I’m Stressed and About to be a Pest… (you’ll see)

Guys, I just went through “the mail” and oh, did I find some treasures! You know “the mail”- that huge stack o’shit that’s been sitting in that one spot for months? Yeah, that stack. Here’s a little list of the prizes I uncovered:

*car registration form. from 2016 AND 2017. Don’t worry, the 2016 one is PAID, but apparently I felt it necessary to hold onto the paperwork. (2017 is also paid. And the paper recycled)
*$20 in my Halloween card from Smoke and MamaG. I leave money in cards like this on purpose for moments like these. I’m smart like that.
*all of my 2016 holiday cards.
*lots of thank you notes.
*a picture of me drinking beer out of a wine glass at TinCup and Felicity’s wedding last summer.
*$20 in Starbucks gift cards, now loaded onto my app. I’m a gift card hoarder, and there’s really no telling when I received these.
*all of my birthday cards from my 33rd. Please note my 34th is in less than two weeks. They’re put away now. Bets on how long the 34th cards sit in the pile?
*some paperwork that involves my retirement fund. I don’t ever open this shit because I don’t know what it means, but I do have it. Ya know, just in case?
*4 free drink coupons from Southwest THAT EXPIRED JANUARY 31, 2017. BEVERLY GODDAMN GOLDENSTEIN, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? I am not even going to tell you how many Southwest flights I’ve flown since I must have received these (honestly, I’m not going to count it up because I just can’t do that to myself)… and paid for drinks. I am flying Southwest to Chicago next weekend, and you can bet my gift-card-hoarding self is gonna be that passenger and try to use them. I fly the day after my birthday, so I’m going to try to use that in my argument as well. Let’s just hope TSA doesn’t have to get involved, OK?

-Beverly Goldenstein

Southwest Airlines Rapid Rewards Customer since 2008 (that may also come out when trying to convince flight attendants to let me use my drink tickets)