Reader Spotlight

Guys, I know that you all like to hear Smoke Goldenstein stories (and I like to tell them!) but I’ve gotta share a story from another one of my favorite Mayberrians tonight- Edith. You’ve heard lots about Edith here (just search her name up there if you can’t remember) and she’s one of my favorite people of all time. She and I share a love for Coors Light and Our Team, and can often be found drunkenly messaging each other on college game days. Yesterday was no exception, and Bev and Edith both really let our hair down yesterday. Our team won in an overtime nail biter (thank goodness), it’s Edith’s little sister Myrtle’s birthday weekend, and Bev’s mouse was murdered, so the forecast for the day was drunk and disorderly.

After texting all day yesterday and into the night with Edith, I FaceTimed her this afternoon to rehash our shenanigans (Bev is known for hungover FaceTimes- if you’re reading here, you probably know that!) while I was in the Taco Bell/Pizza Hut drive-thru (where I got a burrito AND a personal pan pepperoni [pers pan pep if you will]- no shame in my game). A few minutes into our conversation, Edith says, “Wanna hear about my brunch?” Naturally, I was like, “YES.” So, Edith tells me about her brunch. And it was a doozy, guys. I would like to start off Edith’s brunch story by saying that Myrtle and Myrtle’s boyfriend (two of Edith’s brunch companions) had both puked in the night or early morning. 

Sooooo, Edith arrives at brunch to a fairly crowded place, and everyone in her party is feeling a bit under the weather (see above). The group is told that there is a 15-20 minute wait for a table, so they’re just kind of sitting around, waiting. Edith is really not feeling well at this point and announces to the group that she’s probably just going to go puke and get it over with (we’ve all been there, man). But this is where it gets good. Does Edith go to the bathroom and vomit like a normal hungover human? Nope. She gets in her friend’s car (friend had picked her up for brunch) and drives home. Then, she leaves her friend’s car running in her driveway while she runs in and pukes. Then she goes back to brunch and the table is ready.

Please just reread the last three sentences. I am laughing out loud alone in my (mouseless) apartment.

-Bev