IBSLIFMP (It’s Been So Long, I Forgot My Password)

Well, guys, I met up with a new friend for happy hour tonight, and revealed my secret identity to her. As I was explaining this here alter ego, I realized just how long it had been since I’d last posted. I promise, I haven’t forgotten about you (though you probably wish I had) and will try to start posting more soon. For now, I’ll keep it short and sweet, as it’s already past 9 p.m. (when I turn into an actual pumpkin), but I promise not to let nearly a month go by before my next post!

For now, I just wanted to drop in and share one of those “please tell me other people do this too” moments. So, I am a 34-year-old adult with a (decent) full-time job, a horde of family and friends, active social life, no criminal record, etc. I mean, I’m half-successful at this life thing, guys. And so are all of aforementioned family and friends: you know- college-educated, homeowners, great parents, etc. But I’ll never forget a few years ago when my girl Anastasia and I were at the airport for whatever reason, and she stated that she literally can’t keep arrivals and departures separate in her mind, and has had some dangerous airport-driving situations as she tries to remember which is which. I legitimately can’t go to the airport without thinking about this anymore (and how it gives me a split-second pause as well). This sort of called my attention to things I should know, but definitely don’t know.

And I don’t mean, like, changing the oil in my car or putting air in my tires, because… no. I mean, like putting a pan on a burner and then turning the correct knob to the corresponding burner on the first try. Why is this so hard, and why is my hair on fire?

In addition, I was picking up around my house last night and came across another adult task that befuddles me on a regular basis….

Why is putting heels in a box like this the goddamn Rubik’s cube of closet care? I can’t answer that because looking at the picture gives me vertigo.

I have to go catch up on the day’s Instagram stories cross a few items off my to-do list before an early morning meeting and another full day of pretending to function as an adult.

-Bev