Smoke-ism (1 of Infinity)

This type of post (alternately titled Shit Smoke Goldenstein Says) could easily become a series here on BG, along with Funny Animal Friday, Spot Sue Saturday (coming back someday), and Small Town Sentinel Sunday, but these quotes and sayings are sometimes just too elusive/quick to write down, sometimes too inappropriate to write down, and sometimes they just might be about someone who may be reading this blog who might then be offended. Also, I’m pretty terrified that he’d going to stop saying crazy shit when he notices me whipping out my phone to type the nonsense as quickly as possible. (which he already kinda does)

But as I’ve been going through my phone I’ve found some good old Smoke quotes from the past few months, and I’ll start busting them out every now and then for you here. Feel free to use them yourself. (Or not. Probably… not.)

Anyway, I was deleting a bunch of old notes and texts in my phone when I came across a conversation¹ between Maude, Smoke, and yours truly. We were discussing a mutual acquaintance from one of our small towns who had made a mistake. Like, a pretty big one. And a really dumb one. Anyway, Maude and I were talking about how we wouldn’t dream of making that mistake, as we both knew Smoke and Mama G would snatch the damn hair off our heads once they got word of our transgression. Smoke was happy to jump in and clarify what would actually happen:

“You’d hafta take us both to the hospital so they could dig my boot outta yer ass.”

And there you have it.

-Bev

¹This was clearly a note saved in my phone, not a text convo, because Smoke was involved with more than three words.