STSS

Comin’ in hot here with a late STSS here, guys. I had a very busy day of shopping, lunching, and attending an open house of my dream home with Fawn and her mom. Then Petunia Smalls came over for dinner and here we are, much later than normal.

Before I set in with the funny parts of this week’s Small Town Sentinel, I want to give a forreal forreal shoutout to my high school friend, Nina Applebottom. I opened up this edition to the following headline: Operation Gratitude: National veteran appreciation movement stems from a Shiffon woman’s efforts.

That Shiffon woman? The one and only Nina. The article goes on to tell about how Nina’s dad is a Vietnam war vet, and Nina runs a military triathlon each year in order to raise money for different organizations that honor veterans. I’m pretty sure I donated last year, and most certainly will be this coming fall. Nina, you da bomb, girl!

And now, on to the other highlights. You know, like this one.

Or this one…

And this highlight, which probably isn’t funny to you, but I have to tell ya… when I read it, I literally thought this was some kind of celebration to get 2,018 people in the park. Now, I know that seems pretty freakin’ stupid (Petunia Smalls just told me so), but we’ve seen stranger things in The Small Town Sentinel (Wayne’s robin on the front page, for example). Anyway, I believe that People in the Park must be Shiffon’s new version of “Big Days” and I’m so disappointed I won’t be nearby on August 25. Over/under on 2,018 people attending 2018 People in the Park?

And to round out this week’s quickie of a STSS, I want you to read this article below. And I want you to know that there was no “Quality Care of Animals” certification required when Maude and I showed our cattle. Which is good, because I probably wouldn’t have passed.

The world is going to Hell in a handbasket.

-Bev