Night Two: Bev Visits Key West for the First Time
Backstory: Fawn and I celebrated my birthday in Key West. We drove down from Ft. Lauderdale in her grandma’s Mercedes, which had the Sun Pass in the windshield to pay for our tolls en route. Pretty sure we never reimbursed Granny for the Sun Pass. Sorry, Granny. (*this was on the same trip where I met Granny’s dog, Gertie. Now, THAT is a story you want to know. I promise I’ll share it before 2019.)
I’ve been to Key West a few times with a few different friends, and it’s becoming one of my favorite places in the U.S. (behind New Orleans, of course). There’s really nothing like being in Key West (or any of the Florida Keys) and I highly recommend it if you’re looking for a new place to travel stateside.
When Fawn and I were there, we went out for a nice dinner for my birthday. The restaurant was called Blue Heaven, and it’s still there. The food and atmosphere were great. Just be advised that there are roosters walking around everywhere. (This is not typical of this particular restaurant, but of Key West in general. It makes me fairly uncomfortable, so I just want you to have the heads up. I also don’t know if they are roosters or hens or chickens or what the hell they are, but there are a lot of birds walking around.)
Anyway, after our delicious dinner, Fawn and I headed down the street to do some barhopping and buy key lime pie on a stick (trust me). As we were strolling the streets, we stumbled up on a palm reader, and (largely fueled by the wine we’d had at dinner) decided we’d each get a reading. I made Fawn go first, and the palm reader immediately starts reading some really accurate shit for Fawn. We were both pretty freaked out by how much he actually knew about her.
And then I sat down.
And he basically told me I was going to die in the water. (Actual quote: “Stay away from water.”) Please keep in mind that I’m in Key West. Which is a key. Which is an ISLAND. It’s also worth noting that my worst fear is drowning and that Fawn and I had reservations to ride jet skis the next day. So that went well.
After being told that I was probably going to die within the next 24 hours, Fawn and I went on our merry way and decided to hit up a drag show. The show was in the upstairs area of the bar and it was really great. The drag queens were funny and I think I got some birthday shoutouts, etc. The best part was when we were leaving though. There was a woman in front of us who had been… overserved, and she couldn’t make her way down the stairs alone. (I promise it wasn’t me) Her friends (and maybe some employees) were helping her down the stairs, by holding her arms and kind of carrying her and then her pants fell down.
And by pants, I mean cargo shorts.
We finally made it out of the bar (so did our cargo-shorted friend) and set out to look for some late night food. We settled on Wendy’s, where I had a fish sandwich (another little known fact about me: I love a fast food restaurant fish sandwich), and headed home.
And that’s the night I ate a Wendy’s fish sandwich after I saw a woman in her undies after I visited a palm reader who told me I was going to die in Key West.
-Bev
4 Comments
Anonymous
December 4, 2018 at 10:35 amah, god! key west! i LOVE those walkin cocks! I got me a rooster shirt down there last time. The thing about that Hungry Tarpon (which you didn’t mention) is it’s hard to find. Also there are some real dumb asses feeding those giant tarpon. But REALLY good food, so thanks for the rec.
This is MARCELLA
Bevvy G
December 6, 2018 at 6:42 pmOh, Marcella, ya just kill me.
Edith
December 3, 2018 at 8:00 pmBev- what are the differences between the water sources for islands and keys?
Bevvy G
December 3, 2018 at 8:03 pmI WAS WONDERING IF YOU WERE GONNA BRING THAT UP, E! #ChampagneCruise