Night Five: The Bev is Back in Town
Backstory: The Bev is back in (her college) town.
I love my college town. Like, LOVE it. And I was lucky enough that my younger cousins, Timmy and Bessie, also attended my alma mater for grad school, and that Uncle Bart bought a roomy house in said college town for his kids to live in while they were in school. Luckier still, this said college town house is mere blocks from the football stadium, making it Tailgate Command Central for many years. (The house has since been sold and none of us will ever be the same)
And, well, the story of this “crazy night” is a familiar one. Bev is in her college town. For a football game. She starts drinking at sun-up. She keeps drinking all day. She attends the football game. Then she goes downtown. Where one of her best friends, Kalahari, still works at a bar. And feeds Bev free tequila shots. And Bev steps outside to puke in a tree. And she can still get back into the bar because Kalahari is the bouncer. And she keeps drinking. And then cousin Timmy takes her home, where she passes out on the couch.
Fast forward to later in the night, and Bev wakes up with ye ol’ tequila rumbles. You know the ones. Now, Bev is normally a pretty responsible drunk (for real, I am), and I’ve never puked anywhere too inconvenient. I mean, that tree earlier in the night was one of my “worst” puke places in life, and I consider that a huge victory (don’t you?).
Anyway, I’d never puked anywhere too inconvenient… until this day. When my tequila rumbles woke me in the middle of the night to hit Timmy’s bathroom. ONLY TO FIND IT LOCKED. So, I geyser-puked in the hallway until I could get to a trash can. Walls. Carpet. Uggs. Sweatshirts. Absolute carnage.
And, while I take full responsibility for drinking too much that evening, I do (still) beg the question: Who locks the only bathroom door in a house full of people who have been drinking for twelve hours?
WHO?
(probably other people who have been drinking for twelve hours, I guess.)
-Bev
*Note: the bathroom had one door that led into the hallway and one that led into Timmy and Keith’s bedroom. The only one locked was the one that led into the hallway. So, no one was in the bathroom, and we weren’t all locked out of it forever. Only for a really (really) inopportune time.
No Comments