Eight Crazy Nights (8)

Night Eight: Bev Goes to Vegas and Takes a Nap in the Lobby of Caesars Palace But Has No Recollection of it

Backstory: I’m in Vegas with my whole family. I road-tripped there with Uncle Bart and Aunt Sue (amazing) and am 99% sure I had a broken rib from falling into a potted plant the weekend before when my college friends were in town. Classic.

Note: This post is written by cousin Gertrude, because Bev doesn’t remember it. I will add in some personal thoughts in pink throughout.

About nine years ago some of our family, along with 25 or so additional guests, ventured to Vegas to celebrate a few 50th birthdays.  Now, I (Gert, not Bev) had been to Vegas before. However, I was about 13 at the time of my original trip, so I was pretty excited to be heading to Sin City as a 21-year-old college student.   

I arrived in Vegas around 7 pm and headed to the Flamingo to check in and meet up with Bev and the rest of the family.  A few of us, including Beverly, decided to head out on the town, and we ended up at the Pure Nightclub at Caesars Palace.   We had a group of about 8, and as we approached the bouncer, we quickly realized any male in the group would be paying about $25 to get into the place. Due to that fact, the guys in the group decided to go gamble and said night in Vegas turned into a ladies-only night.  

We had a great time, dancing, and drinking an abundance of free vodka if I remember correctly (better your memory than mine, G). Mind you I am a 21-year-old who is used to the “clubs” in my midwestern college town, so in my mind I am living the dream at this point.  At about 2 am we decided to head out to the lobby bar and try to meet up with the rest of our group. We found a table with some comfortable chairs and cousin Kathy found a companion at the bar. That left Bev and me by ourselves enjoying a couple of beverages and people watching. Now, this was very entertaining for about half an hour until I realized I was talking to myself and Bev was snoozing in her large armchair, and the rest of our group was nowhere in sight.  The best part about this was that Kathy spent about an hour and a half with her new friend before joining me and Sleeping Beauty (I might only refer to myself as Sleeping Bevty from now on) across the bar.  

At about 4:30 am Bev awoke and was quite hungry. I am always down to eat after I have been drinking so I took on the mission to find us some food.  We ended up across the street at O’Sheas where I discovered they had both a Subway and Burger King.  We split up to get our food as I prefer BK and Bev wanted a sub. We rejoined at a table, and I vividly remember asking Bev what she got to eat.  She looked up, oblivious to the fact that she even had a sandwich in front of her at this point, and just stared at me for a good 15 seconds.  I repeated my question, pointing to her sandwich, which she then had to open to answer my question.  I will seriously never forget her looking back up at me with her eyes half opened saying, “Looks like tuna.” She then proceeded to eat her sandwich, along with my onion rings and half of my double cheeseburger before we headed back to the hotel to go to bed.  

Other highlights from this night/next morning not included:
Bev picking up some guys wallet or roll of bills from the floor at Pure and debating taking off with it. I had been talking to this dude and he gave me a huge stack of bills to go buy us drinks because girls get served faster than guys. I’ve never had this kind of cash in my hand before… I won’t even venture to guess how much, but it was a fat stack and it wasn’t 1s, 5s, 10s, or even 20s. I have never seen someone move as fast as that man did when I dropped the wad, and I briefly debated trying to throw a few bills down my bra, but I was (and still am) 100% certain that this dude would’ve slit my throat in the club if I had. I got his number that night and saved it as VayGoss Monday (I like to pronounce Vegas like Degas sometimes). I only recently deleted the number.

Hanging out the next morning while Bev is naked in her bed and I mentioned being up for 27 hours straight. Bev agreed that she was up for that long as well and I had to remind her of the snooze she took in Caesars the night before. I’m not even sure if “remind” is the right word here… “Inform” might be more accurate.

I vividly remember a brunch at The Golden Nugget the next day and this was one of the earlier times I’d still been drunk from the night before and then gotten drunk again off of mimosas. This day was definitely a catalyst for my love of brunch.

Gertrude also totally forgot about how I was completely ridiculing her the morning after for getting Burger King… until she told me I ate more of it than she did. Sober Bev HATES Burger King.

I do have another story about Drunk Bev and Burger King though. I really think I could just do a 2019 series called 2019 Crazy Nights

-Beverly “Looks Like Tuna (implied question mark)” Goldenstein

P.S.- Have you ever dry heaved in an airplane lavatory with a broken rib? I, too, could have answered “no” to that question before I lost my Vegas virginity.

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