Eight Crazy Nights (BONUS)

Night Nine: Vegas, again. Oh, God.

Backstory: In Vegas with a group of ladies for a bachelorette party.

Hey guys, I have another Vegas story for you, and, well, I don’t remember this one either, so my friend, Melva, had to write it for me. As I mentioned yesterday, I have had a few more than eight crazy nights in my life, and this one almost got away from us, but Melva really came through in the clutch- thanks, Mel! Again, I’ll be adding some side comments in pink, and I may need to do a follow-up post on this one…

The day most likely started at the pool around 3:00 pm where (and when) all good days in Vegas start. And even though I can’t really remember, I can guarantee we were hungover AF and relying heavily on ‘hair of the dog’. After sweating out our hangovers, it was time to get ready. Nothing kicks off a wild night quite like severe dehydration.

Getting ready was an event. Put on a little makeup, chug champagne, put on a little more makeup, chug champagne, play with our hair for a minute, chug champagne, put mascara on, chug champagne, put more mascara on, chug champagne, try on dress option number one, chug champagne, pull out all of the shoes we packed, chug champagne, turn on our hair straighteners and curling irons, mix a drink, apply aloe vera, chug a beer, put more makeup on, take a swig, try on dress option number two, SHOTS! I specifically remember getting ready for this evening. It was like a Ke$ha concert. And so on and so on.

Needless to say, by the time we were ready to go to dinner, we were buzzed. We had reservations at Lavo and all I really remember from dinner is that it took 17 hours, or at least seemed that way? And that there was what also seemed like a bottomless flow of wine, champagne and vodka. We got a free bottle of champagne for the bachelorette! I remember someone spilling a drink. I remember a lot of loud laughter. I remember feeling too drunk for my fancy environment. I remember none of that.

Then we went to the club. Tryst nightclub, in my memory, was a sea of bodies in a golden light dancing wildly by a waterfall. Whether we had a table reserved or we just somehow ended up with one, I don’t know but we ended up in a round booth. And what I remember from this round booth lit by a beautiful blue light, next to a waterway (because #thisisvegas) was Bev, or the shell of Bev. We had strategically placed her inside the round booth so she couldn’t fall out. #IHaveGoodFriends Because while Bev was there physically, in every other sense of the word Bev was not there. This is how you know Bev is  drunk. She goes mute and just grins. Sometimes she’ll throw in a nod, sometimes she’ll nap (on the table or other creative places… see yesterday’s post about Caesars). God, I love Bev.

Anyway, there were hundreds of people packed inside of this club which made it difficult to get drinks, to get to anywhere, and to find anyone. The not being able to get drinks as easily as we would have liked ended up working out for us in the long run because sometime around what I’m guessing was 2:45 am we realized Bev had disappeared. Like, legitimately gone missing.

She had gone to the bathroom with one of us and never seemed to make her way out. Or so it seemed by the time we realized she was missing. Initially, the disappearance of Bev was humorous and I would say maybe two of us were genuinely worried, the two who had to catch a flight at 7:00am.

We casually checked the stalls in the bathroom and mosied around the club trying to pay extra attention to the faces around us. As time passed, the club started to clear out a little bit and it became easier to distinguish one face from the next. But as it became more clear that Bev might actually be missing, Holly Madison showed up with her friends (one of the very reasons we went to Tryst) and half of us started strategizing how to get pictures with her while the other half strategized what we were going to do about Bev’s disappearance.

Team Holly got their picture. Team Find Bev… did not find Bev.

The bar slowly emptied out as we began feverishly discussing, once again, where we had each last seen her. We went back into the bathroom. Still nothing. At this point, the bar was pretty bare. Holly Madison and her friends were partying like it was midnight on New Years Eve while we walked around aimlessly, scouring through the booths and repeatedly calling Bev’s phone. No answer. No Bev. The announcements for the bar closing became more frequent until we were all huddled near the plush tunnel leading to the exit. We had no idea what to do, so we stalled until we got kicked out.

As we got figuratively pushed through the hallway covered in thick velvet drapes amongst a small crowd of people, we were all discussing what our plan would be. Someone mentioned calling the Vegas jail and I think there was a brief discussion about whether any of us would even be able to go bail her out. Two of our friends had to leave to get to the airport on time to catch their flight and the rest of us were drunk.

As we moved toward the exit like a crowd of zombies, the velvet drape suddenly flew into my face. I was hit in the shoulder with an arm, then a body. And like a Christmas miracle, Bev had practically fallen out from behind the drapes. The blood had been drained from her face and her eyes were wide with terror. She saw us and yelled something to the effect of “Let’s get the f*** out of here!” She had one shoe in her hand and the other was missing. Before I realized what was even happening, I was watching Bev barrel through the crowd and out of the exit and straight into a van that was randomly parked outside of the door (I think) while our bachelorette yelled after her asking where her shoe was.

We asked where she had been and rejoiced. But no one rejoiced more than Bev because she had apparently been in some secret basement of the bar next to some girl on an IV drip. But I’ll let Bev tell that story.

And tell that story, I will. Soon. I’m really not sure the written word can do it justice, but I’m going to do my best, guys. For now, I’ll just reiterate what Melva said: I was in a secret basement next to medical happenings. There was an ambulance and a folding chair and I really thought it was going to be the moment… you know, the one where I got arrested. But it wasn’t!

Stay tuned!

-Bev