Frightening Feline Friday: Flying Edition

Have you ever been waiting to board a plane while listening to the absolute screaming sounds of a cat contained in one of those… cat carriers? Have you ever then shared annoyed/concerned looks with the other passengers around you? Have you ever then noticed a slight commotion ahead of you before you heard another passenger exclaim, “It’s loose!” Have. you. ever. then watched an elderly woman snatch the feline escapee with one hand and return it to its owner, who is a (no lie) three or four-year-old girl?

Because I have. I have done all of those things.

And then do you want to know what I did?

I called the first flight attendant I saw over to my seat once I was settled and asked her if the cat situation was under control. She had no idea what I was talking about so I told her there was a toddler toting a hysterical cat about ten rows up and she went to check on the situation. (she did not seem to care, if you care. I, obviously, very much did care.)

She didn’t come back until a while later, while we were in the air. She assured me that the situation was fine (what does that even mean, lady?), and I assumed she would get me good and liquored up so that a) I wouldn’t care if the cat got loose on the aircraft, and b) I would leave her alone.

She did not.

So then what did I do?

I panicked for the duration of my (thankfully short) flight. I wish I could have saved the messages to my friends and fam while I was flying back and forth about this creature, but most of them were on Snapchat, and, now that I think about it, all of them are (highly) inappropriate.

For what it’s worth, “I panicked” translates to, “I ordered drinks even though I was trying to stay sober in case my awesome airport transporters wanted me to take the shift driving home (They assured me that they wanted me to drink. They know me well.) and I spent the whole flight with my sweatshirt wrapped around my feet and legs in case that mongrel came pussyfootin’¹ back my way under the seats.” (I literally shuddered typing that)

-Bev

¹OH GOD, DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?