MamaG- Mama George?

Have you ever felt personally victimized by your own taste in footwear?

Because I love these shoes… (in both colors)

But, I hate to break it to ya, guys- my hyperhidrosis would have those things so fogged up, I’d need to try to install some kind of defrost button. In the shoes.

The whole clear shoe thing is just something that will not work for me. Ever. Which, in most cases, isn’t a big deal, but it’s a bit of a dagger to the heart in this case of very cute, cheap resortwear sandals. Which I stumbled upon just before a trip to Mexico.

Not as big of a dagger to the heart as a similar situation in 2001 was, though. You see, MamaG and her best friend took me prom dress shopping in the “big city” nearby. I found a baller-ass dress fairly early in the day, so we set out for the perfect shoes as well. I tried on some shoes that had some clear plastic near the toes, which I promptly fogged up. Like, within seconds, the plastic was cloudy except for the cracks between my toes. I wish I had a photo. (You don’t)

And then I was laughed out of the store by my own mother, her best friend, (the original Mean Girls?) and the shoe salesman, who probably still tells this story as well.

Hyperhidrosis life, y’all.