Sue Story Saturday

You guys know Aunt Sue well. And while I told you recently that we were out of Spot Sue pictures for a while, I neglected to tell you that I had a Stellar Sue Story. Now, I could make this a weekly feature and legitimately never run out of content, but I need to give Aunt Sue a (brief) respite from online teasing, so I’ll keep that series to one story for now (so, you know, not a series at all). I might have to share the shared hotel room story too, but after that? Aunt Sue is off limits for a few weeks. (This break will be conveniently timed with Bev’s presence back in the Mayberry area)

Anyhoo, this Stellar Sue Story comes from a recent interaction I had with Aunt Sue via phone. Keep in mind that, while I consider myself pretty close to my aunts and uncles (at least closer than the average 36-year-old might be) but it’s not like I call them on the phone. I mean, I don’t call anyone. So I may shoot some texts back and forth with my drunkles and aunts, but regular phone calls (or any phone calls) aren’t really a thing.

So, imagine my surprise last Saturday when I came back from the restroom to find a missed call from Sue. I called her back within minutes, thinking something might be wrong back home. Here’s how the conversation went…

Are you calling me, Bev?

Well, you just called me, Sue.

I did?

Yeah- I have a missed call from you like two minutes ago.

Oh, either I called you from my watch or (cousin) Gertrude called you from my car. 

*laughs* OK.

What are you up to?

I’m just headed to the grocery store- what are you doing?

(hard to understand/hear because she’s talking on her Apple watch and must’ve moved it away from her mouth)… We’re just helping Bessie and Alfred move.

Oh, nice! Well, I hope you have a few cold beers waiting for ya for when you’re done.

Well, we were packing last night and I was drinking that whole time.

Oh, good.

I better get goin’ here, we’ve got the van full of stuff to unload. Good talkin’ to ya!

Yeah, you too! See ya in a few weeks.

***********

And then she went back to helping Bessie and Alfred move and I got in my car to head to the grocery store.

And that’s when the voicemail came in.

Cousin Gertrude. In Aunt Sue’s car. Accidental call. Voicemail below. 

**Note: voicemail is slightly edited to protect Gertrude’s and my identities. But she leads off with, “Hey Bev. It’s Gertrude…” Listen to the rest below. (also, I’ve never uploaded a movie from my own computer before, so let me know if it doesn’t work. I probably won’t be able to fix it, but I’ll have Edith and champagne on standby for tech support.)

G voicemail

I just die. I realize this might not be funny to anyone else, but I cannot listen to this voicemail without crying laughing.

-Bev