Small Town Spotlight 1: Rockdale

I’m kicking off Small Town Spotlight Saturdays with Rockdale because it’s my least favorite of the eight towns to be highlighted. Rockdale and Swale were their own high school (and our arch rival) when I went to high school, but have since consolidated with the other six towns to be featured here. I don’t really harbor any real resentment toward the town because of high school, and I’m sure Rockdale is a perfectly nice small town. Even if it’s full of racist rednecks¹, meth labs, and probably a lot of firearms.

Small Town Stats
Public Pools: 1
Private Pools: 2
Pop Machines: 1

Our first stop in Rockdale was at the local Stop-n-Shop gas station for some snacks. Little did we know that the S-n-S was also a meeting place for some older gentlemen in the community to have coffee². 

Stop-n-Shop is also a great place to advertise! Probably even free!

Now, I know y’all know about my absolute undying adoration for Casey’s breakfast pizza, but Rockdale doesn’t have a Casey’s. (#NotWorthy)

While strolling through the S-n-S, I did see an advertisement for breakfast pizza, which I (obviously) wanted to sample. There weren’t any pizzas out, and as Bessie and I were discussing whether or not we should try to order one to pick up on our way out of town, the redneck employee slid a hot and fresh little number down the little chute to the warming case! The gods were watching us that day! While this breakfast pizza was quite good, it obviously doesn’t compete with the OG. In taste or price. (A slice of Casey’s ‘za will set ya back for $2.29 and it’s not much smaller than this whole personal pan for $4.29.) 

This old man gambling in the gas station was the highlight of my Rockdale trip. I hope he won $10,000. Also, honestly, I just hope he’s still alive.

And you all know I will find the VFW. Any city, any state.

I don’t who, and I certainly don’t know why, but there’s an architectural marvel in Rockdale.

And, now? Just a bunch of photos of what makes a small town in middle America. You know, water tower(s) – plural in this case! – churches, bars, massive grain elevators, vehicles parked on lawns, abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and people driving golf carts down the streets.

¹I’m not just saying that. Their effing mascot was the Rebel, and they had Confederate flags on their uniforms and in their gyms and shit. Keep in mind I graduated high school in 2001 and the schools didn’t consolidate (and, therefore, drop the Rebel name) until like…2008. Yeah, I still hate these people. For a lot more than the fact that their basketball team once beat my basketball 63-2 in a tournament in middle school.

63-2.

And I’m pretty sure those two points both came from free throws.

²“Coffee” in small Midwestern towns doesn’t really refer to the actual drink of hot bean juice. It refers to an event. This event generally takes place on a Saturday morning, and if we could be a fly on the wall…

-Beverly “F U, Rockdale” Goldenstein