Swale is the subject of our second edition of Small Town Spotlight, and, while it was also a part of the former rival high school, I don’t hate it nearly as much as I do Rockdale. This probably has to do with the fact that it’s much smaller than Rockdale (and reminds me a little bit of Mayberry), the Caspian family (you can catch up on them here and here), and the homemade Burma Shave signs outside the town.
If you don’t know what Burma Shave signs are, you can read about them here.
These signs make the roads leading into Swale (way) more interesting than the actual town, so you’ll see lots of road pics this week!
Small Town Stats
Public Pools: 0
Private Pools: 2
Pop Machines: 0
I mean, this is kinda cute. And those “next seven exits”? They’re just the only streets in the town.
Furniture, Fun, and More? Guys, does Swale have a sex trafficking ring?
Yikes. Back to funny road signs.
(unless you)
This next set of signs might be my favorite.
Guys, I don’t know what this means.
So… more road signs.
Swale has a zoo, guys!
Here’s a horse!
And some equipment to transport the… one horse. (Seriously, this place is starting to stink like a major cover-up)
I literally have no idea what this sign means either.
Swale might not have much, but they have pride in their country, OK?
I’m not sure what this is, but I know what it’s not. And that is a functioning gas station.
And now, just the barrage of pictures of the small town staples: abandoned shit and water towers.
I mean, this on-store sign looks less sex-trafficky than their sign outside of town…
And then, in just the blink of an eye…
I’m not sure if Orv and Dale are thanking us, or if someone is thanking Orv and Dale, but you’re welcome, I guess?
Swale, you are… not that swell.
-Beverly “On to the Next One” Goldenstein
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