Self-Quaranstein Update 1 (of…?)

Are you guys at home? Because you should be. And if you aren’t, go home. And stay there. This social distancing/self-quarantining happening around the country has us all spending a LOT of extra time at home, and I, for one, am HERE. FOR. IT. so far. Ol’ Bevvy here is definitely a very social person, but she also very much thrives on her Bev time, so this social distancing thing has been going swimmingly so far. I’ve been stuck down with what I am 99% sure is a sinus infection (I’ve been emailing with my doc and she called me in a prescription which should be arriving anytime. We are both confident that this is not the ‘Rona…) and I’ve also been legit self-quarantining from the public since I found out I was in a “hot zone” last Tuesday/Wednesday evening. So, I’ve got another seven days of hanging out alone at my house and I’m not mad about it (yet).

I’ve been only a little bit productive so far but here are some of the things I’ve accomplished during my quaranstein:

*NetiPotting. LOTS of NetiPotting. Like, I Googled if one could NetiPot too much. This also requires the boiling and cooling of tap water so I don’t get a brain-eating amoeba, so this has taken up quite of bit of my quarantime so far.

*Skin care. Gat-DAMN am I gonna come out of this 30-40 pounds fatter, but my skin will be glowing.

*Learning how to use InstaCart and placing food and booze orders like it’s my job. OK, I’ve placed three orders, one of which was canceled, but you get it.

*Try-on session of the previously-ordered bathing suits for my (canceled) trip to Mexico… *sigh*

*Planning and preparing to dabble in the stock market. I know absolutely nothing about the stock market but this feels like a good time to buy low (?) so I plan to drop my entire savings into Amazon, Facebook, and Visa stock and ride off into the sunset when it makes me a millionaire in six months. Just kidding, guys! Don’t call me, Mom! I do plan to put a small amount of money into the stock market (if/when I can figure out how, exactly, to do so) but I have to save the rest of my savings account for the exorbitant amount of online shopping I plan to do for the next eight weeks!

*Walking. Lots of walking. Well, really two walks so far. But I plan to continue that today.

*Potential biking. Bev is scared to bike in the city because I grew up biking between corn fields on literal gravel roads and I do not know how the first thing about how to navigate city streets on a bike. However, with most people hanging out at home, I think this might be a good time to dabble in city biking. (much like the stock market) Wait, can I ride my bike to the stock market and put my money into some stocks? That’s how both of these things work, right?

*Armpit detoxing. I don’t even know. I know natural deodorants are kinda taking over the world and I might give it a whirl. One could say I might dabble in natural deodorant (while biking to the stock exchange?). I’ve heard conflicting reports about whether or not you need to “detox” your armpits before switching to a natural deodorant but it seems some who have not detoxed have had some issues with the transition, so I think I might use this time away from people to detox those pits. I’m also assuming that I will last about four days on natural deodorant before the hyperhidrosis reminds me who’s boss and has be back on the aluminum train.