I know I told you I don’t have a Spot Sue Saturday post for you, and this is still, disappointingly, true.
I do, however, have a funny Sue story to share with you- one I hadn’t heard until recently. In the midst of all this crazy quarantine business, I recently tried out press-on nails. Long ones… well, long for me. In the midst of a bit of an identity crisis, I FaceTimed ol’ cousin (in-law) Keith to talk me down from the “Do I look like a drag queen?” ledge. Keith happened to be with Bessie, and they both assured me that the nails weren’t bad and that I’d get used to them. (I have.)
But after discussing nails and joking that I hoped my press-ons didn’t fly off into the Chrissy Teigen banana bread I planned to bake the next day, Bessie remembered a joyful Sue tidbit.
Basically, a few Easters ago, Aunt Sue was cutting a dessert of some sort and putting it onto plates for the family (it was Aunt Sue’s side of the family so I wasn’t there). A few minutes after dessert was served, Sue’s brother-in-law, Kent, made a curious face that got the attention of those at the table.
Because there was a fingernail sitting atop his dessert.
And it wasn’t his.
And I think you know whose it was.
OPI Bubble Bath and all.
I’m not sure how a full nail pops off (I think Sue gets dip nails) but apparently, one did without anyone noticing through the slicing or serving of dessert.
Classic Sue. Kind of like the time she chipped her tooth over a holiday weekend and couldn’t get in to an emergency dentist. She’s walking content.
Happy Easter, Kent!
-Beverly “Do These Nails Make Me Look Like I Tucked A Dick?” Goldenstein
No Comments