I happened to come across this headline a few days ago, and immediately lost my shit… Obviously, the headline/picture/story caught my eye, but also, because it made me think of one of my favorite funny animal pics that I’ve ever accrued (because everyone has a favorite funny animal pic that they’ve ever accrued, right?).
Look at that guy. His name is clearly Gene, and he loves to spread the word of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
The bear article also cracked me up, as it reminded me of the Page family trip, which was almost two weeks ago now. MamaG’s sister and her hubby took MamaG and Smoke to their campsite near Lake Tahoe at the end of the trip. All of us went to check out their camper and the area, but MamaG and Smoke were the only ones staying there. And the entire time, the rest of us had to pretend that we didn’t know that there was a legit bear terrorizing the campground. This dude has actually broken into 32 trailers and has the campground HOA (is that a thing?) calling in park rangers to remove it. Eventually, MamaG did find out about the bearorist (see what I did there?) but somehow did end up still spending the night at the campground with her sister. I’m guessing she got about twenty minutes of sleep.
Speaking of the family vaca, I realize that I haven’t really done a final recap of the trip after informing you of my parents’ upgrade to first class on their way to Lake Tahoe. Highlights from the Page Cousin Reunion include:
-Bev having a panic attack on night one. I know, I know, Bev is supposed to be very chill, very Dude. Well, I challenge you to get drunk, somehow lumber your fat ass up to the top bunk of a bed, and then wake up in the middle of the night, parched, dripping in sweat, and not totally sure where you are. Add in the fact that you’re fairly certain that you’re six feet off the ground, can’t find your cell phone for a flashlight, and you’ve got yourself into a real fit of terror, my friends. Thank God I was sleeping in a room with other cousins, and after whisper-screaming for cousin Bessie for 5-10 minutes, cousin Gertrude finally saved my life with a, “Can someone other than Bessie be of assistance to you?” Gerty got me down to ground level, where I spent the rest of the night sleeping on the floor under an open window (cool breeze) with my hips wedged between two wooden bed posts (at least I knew I wasn’t going to fall to my death {or serious injury} from a top bunk). Bessie and I spent the rest of the trip on couches in the living room.
-Smokey G walking through a screen door. Just busted through the damn thing. Twenty minutes later, he steps on a banana on the floor in the dining room. Because my drunkle thought it was a good idea to put a banana on the floor to mark where there was a huge wrinkle in the rug that many people were tripping over earlier in the day. Obviously, a banana on the floor was a good decision, Drunkle.
-A rained-out boat ride leading most of the family to the Donner Family Museum. Let’s just say… admission is $8/vehicle in parking lot, so it averaged out to $2.18 for each member of the Page family, and I still wouldn’t recommend it. Unless you’re into pictures of covered wagons, a stuffed bear, and a laughable ‘film’ covering everything you don’t want to know about the Donner family (like, their names, occupations, and early travel experiences). Like, come on, people, we don’t care about anything that happened except the whole eating each other thing. Let’s not church this up.
-Ordering pizza for fourteen people who have been drinking steadily for a day. There were a few moments of near fisticuffs, and I literally never even saw the menu.
-The hike. Ohhhhh, the hike. If you are friends with Bev or any of the Page cousins on Facebook, you’ve probably already seen this, but to make a long story short, eleven of us set out on a hike Sunday morning before we left. There was talk of seeing a scenic overlook or a lake that many people had already hiked to on the trip. There was certainly never sight of a lake or a scenic overlook, and what was promised to be a <one mile hike turned into nearly a four mile hike. A nearly four mile hike that ended with all eleven of us Pages in a neighborhood in the next subdivision over from our house, requiring the remaining three Pages to come and pick us up in vehicles. Somehow, we were still a seven-minute drive from our house. Details include me in pajamas with no hair tie, and cousin Gertrude in Old Navy flip flops. And well, this kinda goes without saying…
-The trip ended with my sister, brother-in-law, and me spending a night in Reno before our early flights out Monday morning. I gotta tell ya- Reno doesn’t deserve much in this life, but it deserves its own post. Check in tomorrow.
-Bev
7 Comments
Hattori Hanzo
August 22, 2015 at 5:38 pmI don’t know how to use Photo Shop either. I just thought it was a cool thing or something.
Loretta
August 22, 2015 at 2:22 pmGood to know…. I have no doubt it’s gonna go well for him. I mean, why wouldn’t it? It’s genius.
beverlygoldenstein@gmail.com
August 22, 2015 at 2:27 pmAnd here I thought this stupid blog would be the family moneymaker.
Loretta
August 21, 2015 at 10:05 pmI’m gonna have to remember the banana on the floor as a marker for wrinkles in rugs. Super idea.
beverlygoldenstein@gmail.com
August 22, 2015 at 2:02 pmI mean, you may have to ask permission… my drunkle is working through the patent process.
Hattori Hanzo
August 21, 2015 at 10:03 amHe could maybe use a photo-shopped, rolled-up Watchtower in his mouth.
beverlygoldenstein@gmail.com
August 22, 2015 at 2:01 pmIf I knew how to use Photo Shop, that’d be awesome. Let’s just thank our lucky stars I can put pictures in blog posts, OK?