Run-Ins With The Paw

As y’all know, Bev resides in a basement apartment. While there are some obvious drawbacks (spiders, mostly), it’s really a pretty nice place. So, the other day, when I was leisurely hanging out in my kitchen, unloading the dishwasher, boiling some water, etc., I was shocked when I looked up to see a pair of eyes, watching me. I immediately screamed, and as much as my body wanted to reach out and close the blinds, I couldn’t get my body to move (thanks, fight or flight). 

So, there I was, just… face to face with the Peeping Tom for what seemed like hours. I tried screaming, jumping, stomping, and swearing at him, but he was undeterred. He finally fled, and I was left captive in my apartment for essentially the rest of the day, too scared to take my trash out, just knowing he was lurking out in my yard somewhere. 

In fact, I’m kind of sweating, just typing this (and I have more trash to take out tonight. I’ll probably have to FaceTime Fawn again. As you can see in the photos below, she is my go-to when in emergency situations.) 

Also, I regret to tell you that this is not the first time I’ve had an ‘incident’ with a squirrel. Long ago, when I lived in Kansas City, there was an actual squirrel inside my house. It’s really a pretty epic story, but it’s best told in person… just know that it involved three twenty-something girls, a snowstorm, tears, laughter, an empty tequila bottle, a broom, and a blanket. And three very accommodating friends who let us each spend the night in their homes. And no squirrel kill or even second sighting…Oy vey. It was a day I’ll never forget, and by the end of the night, I was so drunk and emotionally exhausted, I ended up petting my friend’s dog. Willingly. She’s never let me live it down.

Moral of the story: I hate/am terrified of squirrels. Who knew? (OK, we all knew).

-Bev