F.A.F. ON TIME

Today’s F.A.F. is brought to you by Bev having a terrifying dream, and actually getting up early enough to post before she leaves for work. (Also, it’s Friday, and I’m slapping on some mascara and rolling out like IDGAF, so there’s also that). What was this nightmare, you ask? Well, somehow a mountain goat got into my bedroom. While I was sleeping. And just sat in the corner. Then another one came into my living room. This one didn’t have horns though and it was gray. So, maybe it was a sheep? I think goat though. Are any of you, my dear readers, dream interpreter hippie types? Because WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL DOES IT MEAN IF YOU DREAM THAT A MOUNTAIN GOAT COMES IN YOUR BEDROOM?

In other news, I’ve gotta go mattress shopping. I’ve been waking up with a sore back for about a month now. I originally thought I had tweaked it in a workout or something, but it ain’t gettin’ better, and I ain’t worked out in like a week, so I think it’s time to bid adieu to this 7-year-old SOB and take myself down memory foam lane. (maybe bad mattresses = bad dreams?)

Anyhoo, I know you’re not here to hear asinine stories about my shitshow of a life, you’re here for A FUNNY ANIMAL PHOTO. 

This week’s edition is one of my favs. One of the originals. The one that made me call Fawn one time with tears absolutely streaming  down my face. Just prepare yourself for a wiener dog wearing pearls. Because, here is a wiener dog wearing pearls.

DachsundPearls

Also, I know that this photo was made to get tears streaming down one’s face in sadness for this abused dog, but I’m that person who had to leave Titanic laughing, so let’s just say, sadness was not the cause for me calling Fawn crying and unable to speak. I bet you wonder why Fawn is still my friend. I kinda do too. But I’m glad she is. 

*For the record, I was not laughing about animal abuse. I mean, I hate animals, but I don’t condone abusing them. I’m certainly not going to give Sarah McLachlan any money or anything, but abusing animals is not being promoted here at beverygoldenstein.com…. But you know what is? Putting Dachsunds in pearls. (I had to throw that in, because I actually know the breed name)

Happy Friday, y’all. May the weekend bring you free flowin’ Coors Light, football victories, and no mountain goats in your beds. Or mine. Jesus.

-Bev

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