Oh, Kim

Kim’s getting ready to do a ‘messy hair tutorial’ (see below), which is so weird because I was just getting ready to do the same! (see below)

(I’m the second picture, by the way)

I hope my girl doesn’t steal all my tips for how to get that perfect, messy look. Those tips being…

*Go on a 4-day bender to the Lake of the Ozarks with your family.

*Fall off of a boat while drunk, making your parents think you’re actually drowning, prompting two of your cousins-in-law to literally yank you out of the water.

*Get too drunk to get back on the boat after a quick (purposeful) dip, so that an uncle and cousin-in-law have to yank you out of the water again, and make sure your top comes down as your tank ass flops onto the family pontoon.

*Have absolutely no idea how to find your way from bars to your house, causing cousin Timmy to be like your seeing-eye-dog for a few nights.

*Have same uncle walk in on you, trying to vomit one morning of the trip. Do or don’t have a shirt on when this happens.

*Sleep in a different bed/couch/chair/spot on floor every night.

*Ride home ten hours with Target bag tied to your wrist for possible vomit (that is a whooooooole other post, because that was one of the top 10 hangovers of my life. Real. Talk.)

Follow these rules very carefully, and you might be so lucky to achieve Beverly Goldenstein’s messy hair look. Whatchu got for us, Kim?

-B.G.