Snap Back to Reality, Oh, There Goes Gravity

Well, I’ve been back in MyCity for about 24 hours, and the reality of reality is setting in. My three huge bags are unpacked, my vacation mail is sorted, and my fridge is stocked with lean protein and vegetables that are not a part of some type of ‘cream of _____’ soup. Oy. 

Yesterday’s airport experience was a pretty sweet one, kicking off with Smoke muttering, ‘I hope nobody hijacks the sonofabitch,’ as he gets back in the driver’s seat of the car at the airport. (The man driving to the airport is another post. Good God)

Despite the epic hangover I had going on (thanks Fireball, Coors Light, and champagne), I posted up at the airport bar for a brewski before boarding my flight. As I was drinking choking down my beer, the girl next to me ordered a double shot of Fireball and I almost kicked her in the shins. Literally.

Then, two old dudes sitting next to me were using Siri, and the epic conversation went something like this:

Dude A: Is Mazatlan and Minneapolis in the same time zone? (his grammar, not mine)
Dude B: You talk to Siri?
Dude A: Who?
Dude B: That’s the chick that answers all your questions.

I loved them, and I hope they were going to Mazatlan together. 

And then it ended with a patron/bartender conversation containing like the best pun of all time. Of all time, Kanye.

Patron: Can I get a shot of tequila, please? (He almost got a shin-kick too, but he was sitting a few seats away, and I didn’t have any tequila the night before. Thank God.)
Bartender: What kind?
Patron: Whaddya got? (also, yes, I’m calling him a patron because Patrón. You would too)
Bartender: Patrón, Jose, *brings over a bottle of ‘something new’ and tells the patron it’s pretty good*
Patron: Sure, I’ll give it a shot.

Basically, man ordering shot… “Sure, I’ll give it a shot.” I laughed until I… didn’t cry into my beer because my body wasn’t hydrated enough to make tears.

-Bev

Oh, and if you’re like me, you’re gonna need to hear this after reading the title of this post.

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